Have Monks and Policemen Got the Same Kink?
The Cult of Sacrifice and Why Everyone Expects You to Cut Off Your Ear
When was the last time he had sex?
And when’s the next time he’s going to do it again?
I get it.
He’s a monk, but surely there was a time.
It can’t be that hard here, there’s no girls.
But I’m pretty sure those two dudes that are no longer here found love.
I guess if you just stay away from it, it’s easy.
But don’t you then just live your whole life being owned by it?
Living in reference to the power it has over you.
Avoiding it.
If I stay here, in this monk place, it’s easy.
I could do it.
I’ve been here 7 days.
I could do 100.
If I just make sure that the only girls I ever meet come to this place, and they’re not coming here to find a dude, so I guess I can probably just give it up.
And then I never have to want it again.
Maybe this is what I do from now on.
Maybe that’s how I get to peace?
But there’s one problem.
That’s absolutely not what I want to do.
I don’t want to do that at all.
I have no desire to do that.
But is the only way to get what he’s got to give up the same thing?
In fact, what is it that he’s actually got?
Peace?
He’s got peace here.
I don’t want peace here.
Well, I do…
But I want peace there.
And is that even possible?
If everything comes at a cost…
Does it always come at the same cost?
And does everyone pay the same price?
That can’t be the case.
I want a discount.
Roles
We’re born into a world that offers us roles, characters that we can perform. And to perform all of these, there’s some sacrifice we have to make.
The world expects you to cut off your ear to become the artist.
One must put in the hours of both craft and torture to be accepted.
You have to become, grow into, learn and acquire the identity as the world expects. The policeman, our local emblem of power, is the clearest example. He wears the badge to gain power, authority, status. But what does he lose?
Most importantly he gives up control over his own identity.
He becomes a rank.
A number. A badge. A role. PC.
He loses his first name.
The institution takes that part of his identity, and in return, gives him authority.
This sacrifice as a transaction for authority, power, value and meaning is baked into human society.
We are wedded to the idea of giving things up to be validated in a role.
Sacrifice
When we see sacrifices being made, we assume that gives someone authority, because that’s the language we’re taught growing up.
And when we don’t see the sacrifice behind a role that we believe has some desire to gain authority or power or success, we discredit it.
Nepo babies.
Attractive painters.
Those born with money.
We’re taught that the only way to get something is through sacrifice.
The actual quality of the work is almost moot.
Because without having followed the same route, the process, how can it be real?
The sacrifice is part of how we value it.
With money and business, it’s complex because if someone’s credibility is based on them having succeeded financially, which was their starting point, what have they really done?
How much have they really gone through?
Whereas on the flip side, with service-based roles, the military, government, education, research, firefighters, we can see there’s been some natural sacrifice.
Whether of their time.
Their freedom.
Their personal space.
And there’s an honour in that.
Artists
With the artist, the fear is always that they’re fraudulent and in it for the money.
Art and money have been sleeping together for centuries.
We just don’t like catching them in bed.
The easiest way for the artist to prove that they aren’t in it for the money is to see them starve. The easiest way to prove that it’s legitimate is that it doesn’t work financially.
Because then why else is this person doing it?
Every industry, every role, every identity moving around through common parlance has a required sacrifice, even those more unique among them.
People like to see that people are on the edge to succeed.
And they also want to see certain failure mechanisms within them to guarantee authenticity.
No one wants to see a criminal prosecuter with a Richard Mille on his arm. He has to forego some financial success. Interestingly, would it be as weird a move for a corporate lawyer.
Performance
These sacrificial expectaiont allow us to validate the roles around us.
They also allow us to make sure these objects in reality are real. To verify them. To make sure they’re not doing something they’re not supposed to.
But conforming to them without knowing what they are is just as performative as those that are faking them.
Anyone that’s been to art school has run into the characters that pretend to be from more disadvantaged backgrounds than they are.
Partly to fit in. But partly to receive the authenticity of sacrifice. Because once you see the game, it’s easy to masquerade in it.
It’s no different to saying this is a good soldier because he has shiny boots.
The monk can sit there and wear his robes all day and tell me he’s zen.
But if he doesn’t put himself in an environment that tests that, then we really don’t know.
Maybe he’s sat on the sidelines talking a good game.
Defect
We have a defect.
And the defect is that when we see the sacrifice taking place, we cling to the beauty of the idea.
I’ve been through hardship.
I’ve sacrificed.
Therefore, whatever I’ve done is validated.
But it’s tricky.
That isn’t to say that real sacrifice isn’t beautiful.
It’s that humans love sacrifice a little too much.
We always have.
We think sacrificing things is what makes us better.
Sometimes that’s true.
But more often, getting better comes first.
The sacrifice is just part of the path.
It’s rarely as simple as just giving stuff up.
Humans sometimes perform the failure mechanism because we think that’s what made them successful.
We think if we make the same sacrifices we’ll be okay.
For weight loss, maybe that’s possible.
But not all paths in life are about caloric deficits.
When in reality, the success is the success, and there will be failure mechanisms of sacrifice along the way.
All this to say, don’t worry.
You’ll get your sacrifice.
Your bloodthirsty, slightly kinky, 100% masochistic human world will lose something on your road to the life you want.
You just don’t know what yours is yet, because you haven’t HAD to make it.
And trying to find it isn’t as helpful as trying to go somewhere.
The reality is, when you’re trying to get somewhere, it will fall off.
Sometimes you’ll really like it.
Sometimes it doesn’t have a nice, beautiful picture.
Or a beautiful story.
And those are the hardest things you’ll give up.
Heterogeneous
There are different costs for everyone, with everything.
The problem is we don’t actually know what somebody paid.
We only recognise the prices we’ve been taught to recognise.
Maybe the artist didn’t pay by being broke. He paid with isolation.
Maybe the entrepreneur didn’t sacrifice relationships. She sacrificed certainty. Maybe the monk didn’t give up sex. Maybe he let go of his family.
We assume everyone pays the same culturally recognised price.
But nobody pays the same price.
There are different costs for everyone, with everything.
But that’s not how the world sees it.
Because the world likes generality.
It likes it to be simple.
Price
You’ve got to find your own price.
Suffering someone else’s sacrifice won’t free you.
Or get you to where you want to be.
But, going to where you want to be will.
Until then, everything’s free.
Everything’s free.
Do whatever you want.
When you figure out the price you’ve got to pay, then pay it.
Eventually, it’ll be paid.
But until then…
Just go where you want.
Be not afraid.
You’ll get your chance to cut off your ear eventually.
Love you loads
R x
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