Hey,

Last week I wrote an essay titled - What’s your relationship to fear?

When it came time to share it with you, I realized I still had some work to do.

Part of what makes me scared is my relationship to the outside world, the other part is comprised of the expectations of who I am, and at times who I am not.

So what am I so scared of?

Why am I so scared of being me?

Our world is woven together by overlapping layers of reality, each extending into dimensions we might not always see but feel deeply.

Families define the atmosphere of our homes. Colleagues and superiors shape our workplaces. Friends contour our social spaces. These groups intersect to create an intricate map of identity that shifts and morphs as we navigate our lives.

The way we present ourselves to the world—how we dress, speak, or carry ourselves—is often shaped by the contexts we find ourselves in. The more we connect to these groups, the more we feel tethered to their expectations.

We become fluent in adapting, but the friction begins when the "me" at work diverges too far from the "me" at the playground. It's as if each new role, each new layer, demands a sacrifice. Once I get that promotion, can I still be the person who used to swing on the monkey bars?

Over time, we start amputating pieces of ourselves, in the belief that progress—defined by the systems around us—will fill the void. But that sacrifice has a cost. What we lose is often what made us whole, to begin with.

We reject the things that brought us joy, convinced that this new group, with its new challenges, will finally cure the gnawing discomfort of not fitting in.

But it doesn't. Instead, we find ourselves in a world where play is replaced by production, where joy is buried under the weight of expectations, and where we’re constantly reminded of the things we must do to survive.

We take the train to work. We check our credit scores. We stress over mortgages, as if somehow, the moment we acquire these badges of adulthood, we’ll find contentment. But in the grind, we forget. We forget that life was meant to be enjoyed.

The real fear isn’t that we might no longer get to play in the mud like we did as kids. It’s that one day we’ll wake up, old, and realize we missed the chance to play altogether.

Life itself isn’t scary. It's the wanting, the needing that terrifies us. The constant reminder from society that we’re behind, always behind, because our culture forces us to look ahead, to fixate on the future.

But life isn’t just about what comes next; it’s about the moment we’re in now. Every passing second offers a new experience, a fresh set of stimuli to process. But there’s always something or someone trying to hijack that moment, urging us to worry, to fear missing out on the sale, the product, the trend.

As if fitting in requires consumption. But the truth is, we don’t need any of it.

The stuff is a distraction, a plaster over the wound of identity. We all want the same thing: to enjoy this experience. The drive to belong, to fit in, is powerful, but it's not the point. The real point, the core of it, is to enjoy being alive.

The scary part is realizing that to truly live, to fully embrace the present, may require us to stop caring about what we’ve been told matters.

So what am I so scared of? Is it the fear of actually enjoying this existence?

What if the version of me that can fully enjoy every moment looks radically different from the one I am today?

What if that person doesn’t care about the same things, or spend time with the same people? What if, in the pursuit of being, I lose the familiar layers that once defined me?

The deeper question becomes: Is there a way to detach from this constructed sense of self in favor of an experience-driven life?

What if I focus less on who I am and more on the experience of life itself, bounded only by the values I choose to keep close?

The questions all circle back to the same point. Eventually, the fear subsides. But it’s so easy to let it back in, with one simple thought:

What if people don’t like me?

What if.

Volume 1 Mirror Out Now

This month we’re exploring Identity through the scientific lens commonly known as f**king around and finding out.

Some stuff you can research with science, and some require an ethnographic researcher as a sacrificial lamb to jump into the fray and chart the journey.

That is me, maybe it’s you too.

I believe figuring out who you are is the only thing that brings us inner peace. The goalposts change with time and life events, but the system we use to understand if we are who we are always require the same thing.

Making the leap.

If you’re figuring out something, worry less, and do more.

If nobody else has said it yet, I support you.

These mirrors will be available for another few weeks, I’ll ship everyone’s orders at the end of the month and close off the open edition.

The First editions are now sold out, thanks to everyone who supported this first month.

The Second Editions are priced at £10.

If you’re trying to figure out why they’re so cheap, so are my collectors…

I believe art can do something positive in the world, and hopefully me making these as accessible as I can for the next year will prove me right.

Production is on track - I am polishing the metal as we speak.

CLICK HERE TO GET IT

Next Installation - London

26th October
Private View, Chelsea - RSVP by replying here

30th October - 2 November
Various Locations

With love

R

Teaser

Oracle Club

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